Family Funeral Food Fight
by Cheshire Pandacat
Summary: For a prompt: "KHR AU where Tsuna dies and all his guardians start a crack-filled fight to see who gets the inheritance (money. lots of money) and at some point Yamamoto and Gokudera start making out." Drabble. 8059.


A/Ns: This was based on a prompt from yama-goku on tumblr: "KHR AU where Tsuna dies and all his guardians start a crack-filled fight to see who gets the inheritance (money. lots of money) and at some point Yamamoto and Gokudera start making out."

Disclaimer: I do not own the thing.

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Family Funeral Food Fight

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Gokudera drifts in a haze of grief and pain. How… how could the boss be gone… For the impervious Tenth to survive Mukuro Rokudo, the Varia, Byakuran, Daemon Spade, the _Vindice _– and then lose his life to a mere hippo!

After the funeral, the Vongola are _so _suing that zoo. And then killing everything in it.

Reborn gathers Tsuna's guardians at the wake. When Hibari snarls about crowding, the now-adult hitman silences him with a look so ominous even the wallpaper fades.

"There's a problem with the inheritance," Reborn says.

"What do you mean?" Yamamoto asks dully.

"In Tsuna's will, it says everything will be left to his guardians," Reborn replies. "It doesn't specify who gets what, or how to divide the wealth. You'll have to work something out amongst yourselves."

There's a beat of silence.

Everything. The considerable wealth of the Vongola, not to mention the Famiglia itself; all of Tsuna's possessions; his estates – which includes a significant amount of land in both Namimori and Italy; _everything._

Fifteen-year-old Lambo looks around at his powerful, adult comrades, and tentatively (but without much hope) ventures, "…Rock-paper-scissors?"

"Oh, you stupid cow," Reborn sighs under his breath, but no one hears him. Lambo's suggestion has implied winners and losers, which means a competition, which means a fight.

Minds and spirits dulled by grief, the Vongola guardians allow instinct to take over, and take Lambo's suggestion as a challenge.

"Let's have an EXTREME BOXING MATCH!" Ryohei roars, launching himself at Hibari. Caught off-guard, Ryohei's fist actually manages to connect with Hibari's face.

The Cloud guardian takes a step back. A pitch black aura springs up around him. "I," he says in a very level tone of voice that still has the others breaking out into a cold sweat, "am going to _bite you to death._"

Pulling out his tonfas, Hibari attacks Ryohei, sending the Sun guardian crashing into Chrome, who falls on Lambo, whose flailing arms knock Mukuro's plate of chocolate cake out of his hands.

Mukuro's left eye twitches, and his ever-present smile freezes. "Kufufu… kufufufufu…!" Between one breath and the next, his trident is in his hands, eyes shadowed. "Kufufufufufu…!"

Spying through the crack in the door from the next room over, Fran whispers to Bel, "Master's so mad he forgot how to talk!"

"Shut up," Bel hisses back. "I'm trying to watch the show! Ushishishi…"

Fran turns his attention back to holding the video camera steady.

Lambo takes one look at Mukuro's face and screams. In his scramble to run away from the enraged Mist guardian, he trips over the buffet table, spilling food everywhere, including all over Chrome.

Quiet and polite though she is, even Chrome has a breaking point, and as she stares down at her now-ruined suit, her expression goes dangerously blank.

Chrome is still Chrome, though, so she decides the best revenge is to ruin everyone else's suits, too. She begins scooping up the food and throwing it at the others indiscriminately.

Gokudera watches the other guardians devolve into a messy boxing-tonfa-trident-food fight, fists clenched. The Tenth is _dead, _this is his _funeral, _and they start acting like this…!

A hand settles on his shoulder, and Gokudera looks up into Yamamoto's warm, understanding, _solemn _eyes.

Gokudera's grief overwhelms everything else, and he buries his face in Yamamoto's shoulder, no longer able to keep the tears from spilling down his cheeks.

Yamamoto strokes his hair and murmurs soothingly for a few minutes. Then, he tips Gokudera's chin up and kisses him.

Before he can think of how to respond, Gokudera's arms are already wrapping around Yamamoto's neck, one hand fisting in his hair.

The Rain and Storm guardians begin a heated make-out session as their comrades continue to beat the shit out of each other and become covered with food.

Reborn just shakes his head and sighs.


End file.
